What is it with insecurity that so often stops us from doing what we truly want in life. It prevents us from picking up that phone calling that someone you wanted to ask out for years, reconnecting, getting that job, what is it with “take the stage” that makes us so insecure?
I do not see myself as someone who writes about this kind of thing. But when building and creating eY, this subject has popped up more than, and to be honest, more than twice. Looking myself in the mirror, telling myself that “you got this, reach out, just do it, ask for help”… So I thought it to be a nice thing to pass on what I’ve discovered worked for me, firing up that willpower of mine! I’m interested in your view of this. If you have tips or advice on how to further explore how “asking for help” creates momentum. Please do share in the comments below.
If you google “why don’t we do what we want to do,” you’ll get About 755 000 results. That is people asking or writing that exact phrase. Without quotation marks, you’ll get about 5 Billion search results. So we’re not alone, not getting what we want out of our lives. Yes, somethings we just love to dream about, like becoming an astronaut being the one who first set foot on Mars or alike. And that’s fine. But when it comes to a minor change in life, eating healthier or exercise more often, or get back to reading or meeting new people trying out a new hobby. We tend to disappoint ourselves.
…yeah, habits. The only way to change is to break habits. (If you want to change something I urge you to read this article, it will give you what you need to change anything). We all know this. Short tip, if your goal is to quit smoking, you will need to learn that ignoring your need for that smoke is the reward. This is the moment when you win, learn that, and you will soon feel the pleasure of not smoking. Withstand it for some time, and you will learn how to quit for life.
To be even more successful at changing, or achieving something, you will want support, inspiration, and guidance. You will search the web, read up on habit blogs, watch a youtube clip of some Ph.D. lecturing a TED audience, but what you often won’t do is to pick up the phone talk to your friends and family. That we just don’t do! Is it because it’s wrong, no, are we just proud, no. To take the stage before we feel ready is not something we take lightly. To trust others to not judge is hard. What if I fail? Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage.
“Asking for help is only proof that you’re learning and evolving. Becoming a better you. That is something to be proud of”
But instead of thinking of all obstacles, think of it this way. If you’re in a zone that always makes you comfy, you’re not developing at all—same old day after day. Asking for help is only proof that you’re learning and evolving and becoming a better you. That is something to be proud of. That is something to embrace and celebrate. And to celebrate is often more fun with others.
Another good thing about asking for help is that its proof that you care. You value and guard what you have, for example. Your health will become better when you quit smoking—something to consider and to be proud of.
Did you think it ended here? Yet another great thing with asking for help is that it gives you fresh perspectives. It gives you new ideas, new input that will help you to solve and overcome other problems in life. Asking for help creates better results than not asking for help.
As a bonus, people like to help. It gives us the feeling that what we know is valued and appreciated. So to ask is also to give!
So, ask for help. Tell people what you want and be specific. Also, tell them that if they need help, you will be there for them as well. Ask for minor miracles from your friends and family. They will love to help you grow.